tisdag 20 september 2011

The depressed little Christian Love Guru

I am a christian and one summer 8 years ago when I was 16. I thought that it was my responsabilty "as Jesus", to care for my depressed friend, who had suicidal thoughts. I took on the personal responsiblity to make a suicidal person happyn, additionly I tried to be nice to bitter persons at work. They where all bottomless pits.

Not supprisingly I got depressed - me thinking this was my personal responsibility. I got dishearted and hatefull, and angry on God.

One night though I had changed my mind, laying in bed I prayed to God I said humbly: "Holy Spirit you are the only thing that could take me out of this deppression!". Then I fealt in my heart a bubbling love, and joy, and "butterflies".

In the time that followed, I finaly understood life is about letting God's love rub off on me. It was impossible to be as Jesus without God.

Jesus teaches not religion but about having an intimate relationship with God.

This relationship will have implications on what you do, as you become a more unselfish person, and this might come across as religious behaviour, but it's not. It is a matter of the heart and of overflowing love from God. It's not about me anymore, it's totally about God! I am in a 100% dependence on God!